Wednesday 11 May 2016

The broken down car - by Trey


After two days walking in the desert my wobbly legs have excruciating pain that I feel spreading through my sore body. As I'm walking I see an object in the long distance. It looks like a scrunched up piece of metal but as I get closer it becomes bigger. No I think. It's a rusted car that's been blown up for a signal.  I think it looks like it's been here for a while.  BOOM. It blows up again. 
 

5 comments:

  1. Nice work Trey also nice story Trey -From Trey ;)

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  2. You have some fantastic word choices here Trey. I especially like the word 'excruciating'. The way you have used the onomatopoeia 'BOOM' at the end of your story makes me want to read more. It is also great to see that is a short sentence with great punctuation.

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  3. Great work trey also awesome story trey -From Trey ;]

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  4. awesome work it made a image in my mind

    from CJ

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  5. awesome work it made my mind explode

    by oliver

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